M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
