WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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