Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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