just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
