forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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