My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
