btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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