i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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