Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
