how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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