the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
