idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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