none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
