there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
