Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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