Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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