My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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