dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
