Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
