Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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