hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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