Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
