I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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