I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
