I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Of course I have a pirate flag
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
