I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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