her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
