its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
