Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
