he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
