Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
