you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
