fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
