why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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