yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
there is puke in my bra ... again
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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