i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
