THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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