do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
