I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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