There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
