i may or may not be watching the land before time
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
