GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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