tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
