Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize