doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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