Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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