Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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