My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
