is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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