what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!