Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction