yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
