i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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