It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize