I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
