Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I did not marry a roomba.
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