So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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