No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
