I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
COCAINE IS GR8
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
