Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
50% drunk capacity currently
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
